Addressing Challenges in Kazakh Education for Sustainable Development
Round 1
Reviewer 1 Report
The paper is well-written. Maybe a bit theoretical and locally referenced but quite adequate.
Good. It cxan be read easily as it is.
Author Response
Dear editors,
Thank you for allowing us to submit a revised draft of our manuscript titled 'Addressing Challenges in Kazakh Education for Sustainable Development.' We appreciate the time and effort you and the reviewers have dedicated to providing valuable feedback on our manuscript.
We are grateful to Reviewer 1 for his/her positive comments on the manuscript.
Nevertheless, we are concerned about why Reviewer 1 has chosen the option "(x) I would not like to sign my review report" and is unwilling to sign the report if there is no recommendation for improvements.
Reviewer 2 Report
1. Abstract
The abstract should describe the type of qualitative research used and how the data analysis was carried out. This means that this research was conducted to explore obstacles and obstacles, but the conclusion was that there was no follow-up on this matter.
2. Introduction
It would be better if the author explained how ESD was specifically implemented in Kazakhs and what areas were the focus of attention, especially the culture and characteristics of society and government policies related to ESD. What were the changes in ESD practices in universities before and after the pandemic in Kazakhs?
3. Overview of Kazakhstan's Efforts in ESD
There is a jump in part from 1. Introduction to 3. Overview of Kazakhstan's Efforts in ESD (no part 2.....).
ESD curriculum reform and teacher training should be described in detail at primary, secondary, or tertiary education levels and how they are implemented in subjects or areas of knowledge at each level of education. Since this research was conducted on first-year university students, it is also necessary to discuss how ESD has so far been applied in higher education.
4. Materials and Methods
"In this paper, we used a qualitative research method called structured interviewing to gather insights from first-year students from four Kazakh Universities about sustainable development practices at secondary and higher schools." Why seek information on ESD practices in secondary and higher school first-year university students? Why not directly dig up the data on the student concerned?
Interview guidelines must be conveyed in the form of methods, what are included in the ESD practice indicators, then explained further in Results & Discussion.
5. Results & Discussion
Analysis of the results of the Challenges Revealed during the Interview needs to be further in-depth accompanied by a cause and effect analysis and efforts to find solutions. Further interviews can be conducted to obtain more specific information so that the discussion is not only carried out subjectively.
6. Conclusion
It is better if the narrative is adapted to the research objectives, starting from the obstacles, constraints, as well as the proposed solution design and its follow-up.
Author Response
Dear editors,
Thank you for allowing us to submit a revised draft of our manuscript titled 'Addressing Challenges in Kazakh Education for Sustainable Development'. We appreciate the time and effort you and the reviewers have dedicated to providing valuable feedback on our manuscript.
We thank Reviewer 2 for his/her positive and insightful comments on the manuscript.
Below is our response to the issues raised in the review (printed in italics).
General comments:
1) The abstract should describe the type of qualitative research used and how the data analysis was carried out. This means that this research was conducted to explore obstacles and obstacles, but the conclusion was that there was no follow-up on this matter.
Response: We would like to thank the reviewer for this positive evaluation. The Abstract addresses challenges in integrating sustainable principles into Kazakh education. It outlines qualitative interviews with first-year students from four Kazakh universities, bolstering credibility. It concludes by underlining the study's potential to guide policy, educators, and stakeholders in tackling sustainable development issues and improving ESD practices in Kazakhstan.
2) Introduction
It would be better if the author explained how ESD was specifically implemented in Kazakhs and what areas were the focus of attention, especially the culture and characteristics of society and government policies related to ESD. What were the changes in ESD practices in universities before and after the pandemic in Kazakhs?
Response: All suggestions were carefully considered, clarifications were added to the text, and highlighted in yellow. The pandemic effect is not a focus of this particular study.
(3) Overview of Kazakhstan's Efforts in ESD
There is a jump in part from 1. Introduction to 3. Overview of Kazakhstan's Efforts in ESD (no part 2.....).
Response: We would like to thank the reviewer for this positive evaluation. The headings’ numbers have been corrected.
(4) ESD curriculum reform and teacher training should be described in detail at primary, secondary, or tertiary education levels and how they are implemented in subjects or areas of knowledge at each level of education. Since this research was conducted on first-year university students, discussing how ESD has been applied in higher education is necessary.
Response: The research's particular interest was based on the participants’ prior educational background they received pretty recently. The discussion of how ESD has been applied in higher education is the issue of further study.
(5) Materials and Methods
"In this paper, we used a qualitative research method called structured interviewing to gather insights from first-year students from four Kazakh Universities about sustainable development practices at secondary and higher schools." Why seek information on ESD practices in secondary and higher school first-year university students? Why not directly dig up the data on the student concerned?
Response: The research was based on participants’ prior educational background. The discussion of how ESD has been applied in higher education is the issue of further study.
(6) Interview guidelines must be conveyed in the form of methods included in the ESD practice indicators, then explained further in Results & Discussion.
Response: We use an interview as a qualitative research method that asks questions to collect data. That statement overviews the interview process. It seems there is no burdensome regulation on interview guidelines.
(7) Analysis of the results of the Challenges Revealed during the Interview needs to be further in-depth accompanied by a cause and effect analysis and efforts to find solutions. Further interviews can be conducted to obtain more specific information so that the discussion is not only carried out subjectively.
Response: Within the framework of this study, we did not pursue the goal of in-depth, accompanied by an analysis of causes and effects and efforts to find solutions. This study used a qualitative methodology involving only interview.
(8) Conclusion
It is better if the narrative is adapted to the research objectives, starting from the obstacles and constraints, as well as the proposed solution design and its follow-up.
Response: The suggestion is considered and added.
Reviewer 3 Report
Dear authors
Congratulations about your work. It is very interesting.
I am sending you some analysis and recommendations to improve your article although it is very good.
Regarding the abstract the next:
The Abstract effectively addresses challenges in integrating sustainable principles into Kazakh education, referencing COVID-19 impact. It outlines qualitative interviews with first-year students from four Kazakh universities, bolstering credibility. It concludes by underlining study's potential to guide policy, educators, and stakeholders in tackling sustainable development issues and improving ESD practices in Kazakhstan.... Well done!
Regarding the introduction:
The introduction lays the foundation for addressing sustainable development challenges, emphasizing the need for a paradigm shift in mindset and actions. It highlights the critical ecological issues facing the world and emphasizes the urgency of these challenges in various sectors, including education. The role of Education for Sustainable Development (ESD) is underscored as a crucial strategy for achieving the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and fostering sustainable actions on both local and global scales.
However, the introduction would benefit from an engaging opening that captivates the reader's attention and conveys the urgency and relevance of the sustainability challenges we face.
Some sentences are convoluted, which may impede clarity. Simplifying sentence structures and using concise language can enhance readability. The flow between different ideas and sections could be improved to ensure a smooth transition from one point to another, guiding the reader through the logical progression of the narrative.
Here are 5 examples of what I mean:
Achieving sustainable development (SD) demands a significant shift in one's mindset and actions."
Suggestion: "Achieving sustainable development requires a transformative shift in mindset and actions."
"Individuals need to become change agents for sustainability to effectively address sustainability challenges outlined in the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and foster a more sustainable planet."
Suggestion: "Individuals must act as catalysts for sustainability to effectively address challenges outlined in the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and promote a sustainable planet."
"The ecological challenges faced by our world have reached critical levels, demanding immediate attention from all sectors of society, including education."
Suggestion: "Critical ecological challenges demand immediate attention from all societal sectors, including education."
"Education for Sustainable Development (ESD) is recognized worldwide as a crucial strategy for promoting SDGs and addressing humanity's challenges in the 21st century [1-4]."
Suggestion: "Education for Sustainable Development (ESD) is globally acknowledged as a pivotal approach for advancing SDGs and tackling 21st-century challenges [1-4]."
"Additionally, it aims to equip individuals to act sustainably in complex situations, which may require them to explore new avenues [2]."
Suggestion: "Furthermore, it equips individuals to act sustainably in complex scenarios, often demanding exploration of novel paths [2].
With regards of the Material & Methods:
Overall, the section provides a clear overview of the research methodology used in the study. However, there are a few areas that could be improved for clarity and precision:
he term "online test" is mentioned in the "Ethics Statement," but it's not clear how it relates to the structured interviewing method mentioned earlier. If the online test is a part of the data collection process, it should be explained in more detail to avoid confusion.
In the "Data Analysis" section, the total number of participants is mentioned as 186. However, the breakdown in "Table 1" adds up to 196. There might be a discrepancy that needs to be addressed.
While the use of non-probability sampling is mentioned, a brief explanation of why this sampling method was chosen and how it aligns with the research objectives could enhance understanding.
It might be beneficial to provide a bit more context about HRA's Article 51, paragraph 2, or at least clarify why this specific reference is important for the research.
Regarding the Results:
The "Results and Discussion" section effectively addresses the multifaceted challenges and promising opportunities surrounding sustainability education in Kazakhstan. Structurally, the ideas presented could benefit from organization into smaller, coherent paragraphs, enhancing readability and the logical flow of the narrative. Transition sentences can be introduced between each strategy to ensure a seamless progression of concepts, allowing readers to effortlessly connect one point to the next. Additionally, adding specific examples or case studies within each strategy would enrich the discussion, providing tangible insights into the practical implementation of these approaches within the Kazakh context.
Furthermore, employing subheadings, if the formatting permits, would offer a clearer visual separation of each strategy, allowing readers to distinguish between different aspects of the proposed solutions. To bolster the scholarly rigor, incorporating in-text citations for the sources referenced within the discussion would lend credibility to the points being made.
Ultimately, the "Results and Discussion" section can be concluded with a summarizing sentence that underscores the overarching significance of these strategies in promoting sustainable education in Kazakhstan. By implementing these adjustments, the section can be refined to provide a comprehensive, coherent, and insightful analysis of the challenges, opportunities, and recommended strategies for advancing sustainability education within the Kazakh educational landscape.
Regarding the conclusions:
The "Conclusion" section of the paper effectively summarizes the key findings and recommendations presented in the study. To enhance its impact, consider refining the flow and coherence of the paragraph. One way to achieve this is by breaking down the section into smaller, focused paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the conclusion. Start by introducing the overarching importance of Education for Sustainable Development (ESD) and its relevance in the context of Kazakhstan's development goals. Following this introduction, proceed to outline the main challenges faced by Kazakhstan in integrating sustainability into its education system. This could be followed by a separate paragraph that succinctly presents the proposed strategies for addressing these challenges, highlighting the importance of curriculum enhancement, teacher training, skill development, funding, and partnerships.
To further enhance the conclusion, consider expanding on the transformative potential of ESD, emphasizing how it should permeate every facet of the education system, from infrastructure to pedagogical methods. Additionally, elaborating on the benefits of fostering a sustainability culture within educational institutions and the broader society can add depth to the discussion. It might be helpful to explicitly connect the proposed strategies to these overarching goals, illustrating how each strategy contributes to the overall objective of nurturing a sustainable mindset among students and citizens.
Conclude the "Conclusion" section with a strong closing statement that encapsulates the essence of the study. Highlight how Kazakhstan, through collaborative efforts, can become a pioneering example of how education can drive sustainable development, leading to a more equitable and prosperous future. By refining the paragraph structure and incorporating these suggestions, the "Conclusion" can be refined to provide a more impactful and cohesive summary of the study's findings and implications.
Author Response
Dear editors,
Thank you for allowing us to submit a revised draft of our manuscript titled 'Addressing Challenges in Kazakh Education for Sustainable Development'. We appreciate the time and effort you and the reviewers have dedicated to providing valuable feedback on our manuscript.
We thank Reviewer 3 for his/her positive and insightful comments on the manuscript.
Below is our response to the issues raised in the review (printed in italics).
General comments:
1) Regarding the abstract:
The Abstract addresses challenges in integrating sustainable principles into Kazakh education, referencing COVID-19 impact. It outlines qualitative interviews with first-year students from four Kazakh universities, bolstering credibility. It concludes by underlining the study's potential to guide policy, educators, and stakeholders in tackling sustainable development issues and improving ESD practices in Kazakhstan.... Well done!
Response: We would like to thank the reviewer for this positive evaluation.
2) Regarding the introduction:
The introduction lays the foundation for addressing sustainable development challenges, emphasizing the need for a paradigm shift in mindset and actions. It highlights the world's critical ecological issues and emphasizes the urgency of these challenges in various sectors, including education. The role of Education for Sustainable Development (ESD) is underscored as a crucial strategy for achieving the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and fostering sustainable actions on both local and global scales.
However, the introduction would benefit from an engaging opening that captivates the reader's attention and conveys the urgency and relevance of our sustainability challenges.
Some sentences are convoluted, which may impede clarity. Simplifying sentence structures and using concise language can enhance readability. The flow between different ideas and sections could be improved to ensure a smooth transition from one point to another, guiding the reader through the logical progression of the narrative.
Here are 5 examples of what I mean:
Achieving sustainable development (SD) demands a significant shift in one's mindset and actions."
Suggestion: "Achieving sustainable development requires a transformative shift in mindset and actions."
"Individuals need to become change agents for sustainability to effectively address sustainability challenges outlined in the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and foster a more sustainable planet."
Suggestion: "Individuals must act as catalysts for sustainability to effectively address challenges outlined in the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and promote a sustainable planet."
"The ecological challenges faced by our world have reached critical levels, demanding immediate attention from all sectors of society, including education."
Suggestion: "Critical ecological challenges demand immediate attention from all societal sectors, including education."
"Education for Sustainable Development (ESD) is recognized worldwide as a crucial strategy for promoting SDGs and addressing humanity's challenges in the 21st century [1-4]."
Suggestion: "Education for Sustainable Development (ESD) is globally acknowledged as a pivotal approach for advancing SDGs and tackling 21st-century challenges [1-4]."
"Additionally, it aims to equip individuals to act sustainably in complex situations, which may require them to explore new avenues [2]."
Suggestion: "Furthermore, it equips individuals to act sustainably in complex scenarios, often demanding exploration of novel paths [2].
Response: All suggestions were carefully considered, accepted, added to the text, and highlighted in yellow.
(3) With regards of the Material & Methods:
Overall, the section provides a clear overview of the research methodology used in the study. However, there are a few areas that could be improved for clarity and precision:
The term "online test" is mentioned in the "Ethics Statement," but it's not clear how it relates to the structured interviewing method mentioned earlier. If the online test is a part of the data collection process, it should be explained in more detail to avoid confusion.
Response: We would like to thank the reviewer for this positive evaluation. The term “online test” is replaced by “interview”.
(4) In the "Data Analysis" section, the total number of participants is mentioned as 186. However, the breakdown in "Table 1" adds up to 196. There might be a discrepancy that needs to be addressed.
Response: The calculation is correct in Table 1. Nevertheless, we changed the Table 1 details with Universities to regions, focusing on selection categories. See Table 1.
(5) While the use of non-probability sampling is mentioned, a brief explanation of why this sampling method was chosen and how it aligns with the research objectives could enhance understanding. Explanation is added. It might be beneficial to provide a bit more context about HRA's Article 51, paragraph 2, or at least clarify why this specific reference is important for the research.
Response: A small context about HRA's Article 51, paragraph 2, is added. See lines 257-259.
(6) Regarding the Results:
The "Results and Discussion" section effectively addresses the multifaceted challenges and promising opportunities surrounding sustainability education in Kazakhstan. Structurally, the ideas presented could benefit from organization into smaller, coherent paragraphs, enhancing readability and the logical flow of the narrative. Transition sentences can be introduced between each strategy to ensure a seamless progression of concepts, allowing readers to effortlessly connect one point to the next. Additionally, adding specific examples or case studies within each strategy would enrich the discussion, providing tangible insights into the practical implementation of these approaches within the Kazakh context.
Response: Transition sentences are introduced for paragraphs coherence. Adding specific examples is avoided overdoing the word limit.
(7) Furthermore, employing subheadings, if the formatting permits, would offer a clearer visual separation of each strategy, allowing readers to distinguish between different aspects of the proposed solutions. To bolster the scholarly rigor, incorporating in-text citations for the sources referenced within the discussion would lend credibility to the points being made.
Response: subheading numerals were removed.
(9) Ultimately, the "Results and Discussion" section can be concluded with a summarizing sentence that underscores the overarching significance of these strategies in promoting sustainable education in Kazakhstan. By implementing these adjustments, the section can be refined to provide a comprehensive, coherent, and insightful analysis of the challenges, opportunities, and recommended strategies for advancing sustainability education within the Kazakh educational landscape.
Response: summarizing paragraph is added.
(10) Regarding the conclusions:
The "Conclusion" section of the paper effectively summarizes the key findings and recommendations presented in the study. To enhance its impact, consider refining the flow and coherence of the paragraph. One way to achieve this is by breaking down the section into smaller, focused paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the conclusion. Start by introducing the overarching importance of Education for Sustainable Development (ESD) and its relevance in the context of Kazakhstan's development goals. Following this introduction, proceed to outline the main challenges faced by Kazakhstan in integrating sustainability into its education system. This could be followed by a separate paragraph that succinctly presents the proposed strategies for addressing these challenges, highlighting the importance of curriculum enhancement, teacher training, skill development, funding, and partnerships.
To further enhance the conclusion, consider expanding on the transformative potential of ESD, emphasizing how it should permeate every facet of the education system, from infrastructure to pedagogical methods. Additionally, elaborating on the benefits of fostering a sustainability culture within educational institutions and the broader society can add depth to the discussion. It might be helpful to explicitly connect the proposed strategies to these overarching goals, illustrating how each strategy contributes to the overall objective of nurturing a sustainable mindset among students and citizens.
Conclude the "Conclusion" section with a strong closing statement that encapsulates the essence of the study. Highlight how Kazakhstan, through collaborative efforts, can become a pioneering example of how education can drive sustainable development, leading to a more equitable and prosperous future. By refining the paragraph structure and incorporating these suggestions, the "Conclusion" can be refined to provide a more impactful and cohesive summary of the study's findings and implications.
Response: All suggestions were carefully considered, accepted, added to the text, and highlighted in yellow.
Round 2
Reviewer 2 Report
Introduction
Clarify what areas of SDGs have so far been accommodated by the Kazakh government. The authors have followed up on all suggestions and comments.
Method
Clarify again the type of qualitative research used, whether case study, ethnography, phenomenology, or something else (insert reference).
Author Response
Dear editors and reviewers,
Thank you for your in-depth review of our manuscript. We appreciate the time and effort you have dedicated to providing valuable feedback on our manuscript to perfect it and master our writing skills.
Below is our response to the issues raised in the review.
General comments:
1) Introduction: Clarify what areas of SDGs have so far been accommodated by the Kazakh government. The authors have followed up on all suggestions and comments.
Response: We would like to thank the reviewer for this positive evaluation. The Introduction is enriched with information on areas of SDGs accommodated by the Kazakh government. In addition, there is a new reference is added to the reference list. All reference numbers are corrected due to this addition.
The added and corrected information is highlighted in grey.
2) Method: Clarify again the type of qualitative research used, whether case study, ethnography, phenomenology, or something else (insert reference).
Response: The type of qualitative research used is clarified and reference is inserted into the text and reference list.
The added and corrected information is highlighted in grey.
